Talking openly about mental health during cancer diagnosis and treatment – Sam's story
Proud father of two, Sam, shares his story of living with an inoperable brain tumour, and receiving anxiety-relieving treatment and care at The Royal Marsden.
June 2024 marks the 10th anniversary of Father and Son Day, a campaign which encourages open conversations around male cancer. Ralph Lauren supported this campaign as part of their global Pink Pony initiative, with further support from Selfridges.
“I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m a very open person. I’d like to help anyone else who might be suffering in silence, so am very happy to share my experience.”
“It was February 2020 and I was on my way back from work" says Sam. "I just didn't feel right within myself. I then experienced a strange smell – like bleach or cleaning liquid. I didn’t know this at the time, but the smell turned out to be an aura – a warning sensation that some people experience before a seizure. I got on the tube and closed my eyes. I don’t remember what happened next.”
“I woke up in hospital two days later. Apparently, I had a seizure on the tube and then two seizures in the ambulance on the way to hospital. Through scans, it became clear that there was a low-grade tumour in my brain. My neurosurgeon explained that it was more of a web structure rather than a big mass. Therefore, he couldn’t easily remove it and sadly surgery was not an option. We decided to take a ‘watch-and-wait’ approach with anti-seizure medication, as the tumour wasn't affecting my memory or my daily life in general.”
Living with an inoperable brain tumour
“I went for regular scans for three-and-a-half years and everything was stable during that time. I even ran the London Marathon, which was one of the greatest achievements of my life! However, one day, during a holiday in Brazil for a family wedding, I got a call to say that my latest scans had showed some changes in my brain.”
“I came back to England and my neurosurgeon laid it out clear and simple – he told me there was growth in the tumour, and that I would need a biopsy and potentially treatment like radiotherapy and chemotherapy. As my wife and I tried to digest this, we had a call to say my grandma had been diagnosed with an aggressive glioblastoma. It was honestly a day from absolute hell. Due to my grandma's age and the aggressiveness of her brain tumour, she passed away a few weeks later. I was very close to her, and it was a huge loss.”
The Royal Marsden helped to relieve Sam’s anxiety
“After this huge shock, I just didn’t feel ready for radiotherapy and chemotherapy – it was scary. My neurosurgeon referred me to The Royal Marsden, as he felt that’s where I would be looked after the best. He was right – everyone at The Royal Marsden is fantastic. I'm not just saying that, every single person I've met has made me feel so comfortable. Every time I've gone there, I've gone in petrified, and I've come out just feeling a little bit more at ease, a little more peaceful.”
Sam underwent 30 sessions of external beam radiotherapy on a machine called an linear accelerator (LINAC). This piece of state of the art equipment was supported by funding from The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity. For his radiotherapy, Sam had to wear a mask that was specially made to fit his face.
“Someone called Brooke fit my mask for me, and she walked me through the whole process in such a gentle and calm way. She showed me the acrylic starting out flat before putting it in the oven – we described it like making pancakes. Then she made it more like a spa treatment, just talking me through it all and helping my anxiety. It was a very anxious moment for me, but we were laughing and having a lot of fun.”
“Wearing the mask is the worst thing for me, as it’s quite claustrophobic. It’s important to mentally prepare, so I now have my own tips – breathe slowly and calmly, trying not to panic as that can make the breathing worse and keep in mind that it’s only for five minutes. I went Monday to Friday for 30 sessions in total before starting the next stage of chemotherapy in the Olayan Day Unit of the Oak Cancer Centre.”
Incredible support from his family
“My wife and two daughters are just brilliant. My oldest daughter is really sharp – even at five years old when I was first diagnosed. We got away with not telling them for about six months or so and then unfortunately I had a massive seizure while I was at home with the girls on my own. I was still in bed and she took her screaming sister into her bedroom and called my wife from my phone. She managed to speak to the ambulance and turn me over to check I was breathing until the ambulance came – at just five years old! She won an award for it.”
“After that happened, we brought them in naturally on what was going on, without going into any of the gory details. I have to say I'm really proud of them – they've made their own ways of dealing with it.”
Father and Son Day is inspiring open dialogue in men’s health
The Father and Son Day campaign is about inspiring men to talk more openly about their health issues, just like Sam.
We are delighted that Ralph Lauren, a long-standing partner of the Charity, supported the 2024 campaign. Money raised is supporting two important areas of work at The Royal Marsden – early diagnosis research and essential mental health support services.
During the campaign, Ralph Lauren donated 25% of the net purchase price of a range of products online and in store, as well as offering customers the opportunity to donate. We are pleased to have had further support from Selfridges, who also sold this Ralph Lauren product range in store and online.
